I Want to Quit, But I Won't

This morning I felt excited about this new health journey that I am on. I felt empowered and energetic. I felt unstoppable and admittedly even a little overconfident in my "amazing" willpower. And then life happened. I found out that I had to make two important phone calls, one to my insurance company (yet again) and another to Costco who shorted me $100.00 in a refund. Both calls were stressful. Both calls had me waiting on the phone for a period of time. And both of my children have a radar. It's called the "I-can-tell-that-you-are-the-phone-about-something-important-so-I-am-going-to-fight-with-my-sister-and-yell-and-scream" radar.

It was after resorting to locking myself in my room so that I could hear the person on the other end of the phone, that my patience began to wear paper thin. I really felt my emotions exploding inside of me. This is a somewhat new experience for me. You see...normally as the stress keeps mounting, I typically head for the kitchen and immediately start eating whatever I can find in the pantry or fridge (i.e. chocolate, popcorn, chips, pretzels, or even some ice cream). Today, however, I have carrot sticks, celery sticks, an apple, or some strawberries. And while I do like vegetables and fruit, it just doesn't have quite the same appeal to calm my nerves.

So what do you do when you are hit with an emotional eating situation, but you have no junk food to binge on? Well...you have deal with your emotions. Seems simple right? But for some reason, a lot of people eat instead of confronting their feelings. I am one of them, but I am trying to change. Change is so hard, but it's harder to be in this heavy, unhealthy body everyday. So for now...despite the stress...I am going to choose to just breath slowly and deeply. I'm going to let myself FEEL the frustration and irritation that I am currently experiencing and then I am going to let it go and move on.

Day 1 Summary

Man is it hard to change! Yesterday, purely out of habit, I found myself standing in the pantry looking at all of the food on the shelves. Granted, I haven't bought any junk food for the past couple of days so there weren't any quick snacks. 

Yesterday was good and hard. In the later afternoon hours, that is when I struggle the most with over eating. I realize that this journey will have to be one that involves physical changes, emotional changes, and even spiritual changes. 

In some ways, I feel addicted to food. I don't know if you can relate to that, but if you can you'll know how hopeless it can feel at times. 

Someone who is addicted to say alcohol or cigarettes can simply choose to not bring those items into their home. I'm not saying that the withdrawal process would be easy, but at least you don't need those items to survive or to live. But food is an entirely different story. How can you go a day or a week without food?

About 1 1/2 years ago, I lost 70 pounds in about a years' time. I then became pregnant with our second child and regained all of it back.

The hardest part to losing AND keeping the  weight off is tackling the emotional reasons behind eating. I can count calories. I can exercise. But how do I tackle the demons in my mind? 

Stats

Weight: 199 lbs

Pant Size: 18

And So The Journey Begins

And So It Begins.....

Have any of you watched “Fat, Sick, & Nearly Dead” by Joe Cross? The movie inspired me. I am currently overweight (again) and I can’t stop craving sugar. Something has to change if I want to regain my emotional and physical health. This is where it begins. 

This is the food I’ll be eating for the next 5 days. I will then do a juice fast for 10 days.

Game Plan

Goals: 

15 days of Juicing Fast per Joe Cross’s Reboot website. 

Go to bed by 10:30. Get up by 7:00. 

KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid): The above goals are the only two goals I will be focusing on for the next 15 days. Afterwards, I will be evaluating my progress and making new goals for the next “leg of my journey.”

Overall goal: Improve physical & emotional health. I need to lose approximately 65-75 pounds. I’ll be focusing on exercises that won’t make my plantar fasciitis worse. I’ll also be focusing on working through my emotions rather than using food as a “drug of choice” to numb/deal with my feelings.

I will keep you updated on my day-to-day challenges and success. Wish me luck!!

Killer Onions

This morning, while preparing our evening meal, I came across some EXTRA potent onions. Now I am not usually a wimp when it comes to chopping and dicing onion, but this particular onion was REALLY bad. On a scale of potency, this onion rated an 11. Seriously. I COULD NOT STOP CRYING. It was that bad. 

So in order to combat the onion and get on with the rest of my day, I did what any other intelligent and creative individual would do. I put on some ski goggles. They suction to your face right, which blocks out any "toxic air and fumes" that those onions might be putting out there. Now, I know you might be laughing at me...but I tell you what....it worked. Maybe I should get this patented huh?

Our Trip to Alaska

Brandon & I were able to spend some time with my family this year, up in Alaska. We had a lot of fun, and the weather was amazing! Here are some highlights: 

Brandon, Kennedy & I at the "flats" in Alaska.

Brandon took an airplane ride in this baby!

Kennedy giving her aunt Laurie a slobbery kiss!

My sister Debbie and her little boy Michael.

Mom & Dad at my brother Michael's high school graduation.

My brother Michael on his graduation day.

Michael's Graduation Celebration Dinner at Chili's!

Brandon & Kennedy "cheesing" it for the camera!

My sister Laurie took a break from work (she does drywall) to come hiking with us!

Kennedy & Mommy going on a hike at the "flats" in Alaska.

My sister's dog WOULD NOT cross this bridge, so my brother-in-law had to carry him across!

My brother-in-law, Allen, and his little boy, Michael.

Mom & Michael at graduation.

My little nephew, Payton.

My sister Laurie laughing in the background at the babies.

Mother's Day & Green Drinks

Mother's Day Lunch

For Mother's Day this year, Brandon made me lunch in bed. Our church starts earlier in the morning, and since we already struggle with getting there on time, we decided to celebrate Mother's Day later in the afternoon.


He also made me my favorite drink...a green drink. So yummy, and so good for you! Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there! :)

Green Drink in my Vit-A-Mix

Walkin' In My Shoes

Kennedy LOVES walking around in my shoes!

We are still working on matching shoes. As you can see, she prefers a brown and black flip flop in this pic.

Let's not forget that in addition to a shoe fetish, she also has a deep & abiding love for her blanket.

The Many Faces of Kennedy

Our doctor said that Kennedy's mouth size is in the 97th percentile! J/K

Brandon is to blame for this picture. 

"OH!!!"

Mercer Arboretum

I decided to check out Mercer Arboretum with a friend this week. It is BEAUTIFUL, and FREE (which is always a perk in my book). I couldn't help thinking it was a perfect place to take family pictures. The only problem is, it seems that everyone else feels that way too! I couldn't count how many people were taking family, wedding, or candid shots. Someone did mention to me, however, that the jailbirds go there to help with the plants. Hmm.....very interesting. Note to self: if someone dressed in all orange approaches you with a gardening spade....go the other direction.

Our Little "Cooking Helper"

Kennedy helped Brandon make some whipped cream for our Tres Leches Cake for Easter. 

She licked EVERY last bit of whipped cream off of the spatula. 

She also licked the beaters. 

YEAH for whipped cream! 

I'm Lookin' For A Baby Bumble Bee....

She even has bumble bee flip flops! Too cute!

Our little bee and her baby doll.

Notice her "bumble bee wings."

Our New Babysitter: Winnie

 

Perhaps you have seen this glazed-over look on your child's face before?

How about this one?

Spoiler Alert: Some of you may look down on me for this one. All I can say in my defense is: Have you ever tried making dinner with a one-year old latched onto your leg while handling a frying pan with hot oil and chicken stir fry?

Yes..I figure it is better that she kill off some brain cells than have her accident-prone mother cook with her near the oven.

I am guilty of using a free babysitter that I shall call "Winnie."

What EVERY mother should know about distilled vinegar!

There are times when the food on your child can easily become........

..........the food on your carpet. Yep folks...that has blueberries in it.

Which is why I now use distilled vinegar to clean carpet stains.

How to drink a green smoothie "Kennedy-Style"

Step 1: When you can no longer sip green drink from your sippy cup, remove the lid.

Step 2: Chug the remaining green drink down. I repeat the word: chug!

Step 3: Gulp it down until there is NOTHING left. Don't breathe. Don't blink. Just Gulp!